Over the past couple of years many challenges, or opportunities some might say, have visited me and my family. Trying to navigate it all and stay relatively sane seemed almost impossible. Sifting through the customer service lip service to find real assistance/support felt like learning a new language. The only thing I knew was that I needed to maintain some sense of myself while standing smack dab in the middle of the eye of the storm and let go of my white-knuckle grip on everything I did not have control over. Reining in my monkey mind of catastrophizing every little thing that came into my orbit was the worst of it. What if this…what if that…it was never-ending.
I’m not a religious person. By this I mean I don’t attach myself to any organized religion or dogma. However, I do believe in a sense of oneness and connection to spirit/source which is at the heart of everything. In this context, it means I am responsible for myself and my response to anything that crosses my path, whether it’s a stolen catalytic convert from my car or a cancer diagnosis. Being a victim of circumstance and looking for someone or something outside myself to blame doesn’t change what is.
This is not to say that responding to the initial shock isn’t real and should be ignored. I am, after all, human and am subject to the full range of feelings and emotions we are all gifted with at birth. But, and I emphasize this, the difference between the initial shock or trauma and my death grip on it turning it into a source of fear and self-imposed victimhood is as different as night and day. I felt like some maniacal force had stripped me of control of my world and all I could do was beat my chest over the injustice of it all and how put upon I’ve become forced to endure what others imposed upon me rather than reconnecting with source and trusting that everything will come out as it should and for my overall betterment. I still struggle with keeping this concept in the forefront of my mind during stressful times, but I have also experienced peace and positive outcomes as a result when I let go and trust. But this came well after I’d gone several rounds with pencil pushers and bean counters, lost time at work, and boxes of chamomile tea before the meditation started to take hold.
Whether it was an intervention, an accident, or kismet, I enrolled myself in an online puppet-making master class with Bernd Ogrodnik. If you’ve never done it before, learning to work with wood is a painstaking experience in patience, forgiveness, and acceptance. You’ll eventually create some delightful puppets, but this is about the learning process and accepting what you can control and understanding and working with what you cannot control. Sound familiar?
Once I realized I wasn’t doing myself any favors by pushing back at the realities around me, I had to think about what exactly I had control over and what I could do for myself. And yes, sometimes this meant getting up into someone’s face when I realized I was being put off, ignored, or treated as a number. But, like carving wood, not everything is within my control, and dropping my shoulders and breathing helps.
Being proactive about those things we can control means writing that stuff down before making the phone calls or meeting someone face to face. Also, a good reminder is that most of us are not experts but can expect our concerns to absolutely be taken into account when major decisions are being made. As a result of letting go of what I have no real control over, I have been more creative and am beginning to understand more fully how this works to my benefit.
I was reminded over and over that reflecting on the Serenity Prayer would help me shift my perspective. I see that I am not surrendering myself to an outside being with a white beard sitting amongst the clouds, but as a channel of creative inspiration and converting it into my offering to the world. When we quiet our mind, we all have the capacity to be inspired and feel the urge to create what before that instant was only a thought or a dream. Like my wood carving, with each project, I improve and feel inspired to begin the next project.
Most people are familiar with only the first stanza of the Serenity Prayer. Here is the full version:
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, the sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His Will;
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
And Supremely happy with Him
Forever and ever in the next.
Amen
